But really? What do you even know about love? (daily question I ask myself)
Well for one I can tell you that it is powerful.
Its like a force that consumes you at times.
You initially believe its a choice but after while you begin to feel like you didn’t have a say to begin with.
Its like your heart wants what it wants and as much as your mind is telling you to run at the first sight of it your heart is sort of hypnotised and intrigued by the possibility
I’m 24 years in and I feel like I don’t have a clue
I’m still learning to love myself so really how can I know how to love someone heartedly without reservations or without the need to fix the things that I don’t like
We all come with our faults
With our scars and our bruised hearts
And like so many of us we still “choose” to love despite the fact
Another thing I know is that it takes courage
I’ve been single for almost 4 years and I told myself that the next person I want to date is the person I want to marry
What a tremendous amount of pressure she put on herself with that one? You might be thinking but I beg to differ
You see I’ve only loved once person so my knowledge is quite limited but I have a lot of friends and I’ve been around a ton of relationships so I think I might know a little something something
But I decided to pose the questions to friends and here is what I got
“It depends on the love. If your loving your friend or your husband. But either way it’s something that has to be worked towards. You have to learn to forgive no matter what. You have to want to continue to learn and grow as a person. It’s tender and kind. It’s happiness and joy” – Jameelah aka JJ
“Love is loving the things that you can’t stand about someone. Being amazed bytheir successes and their failures. Love is, moving mountains to give your support, to speak hope, to pray and to hold that person. It’s patient. It’s endearing. It’s full of energy that keeps the two connected (& God). It’s beyond a word. It’s that feeling that you never really have all the words for but you feel that shit in your core”- Twilight
“if I could explain love I’d say it’s embracing and encompasses taking all of a person with the good and the bad (even though traits can be worked on) it’s saying I know the best parts of you and the worst parts of you and all in al I still want to be with you. Love definitely takes more than one person because if it’s one sided it’s not love, I don’t think love is conditional but I also think in love some things cannot be accepted to dwell in (hatred, deceit, etc)”- Eli
I think love is passion, attraction, and attachment. When you love something or someone it feels exhilarating when you’re with them or doing that activity. You feel less stress and find yourself smiling just because you’re happy. And when for some reason you can’t do or be with the person you love, you can’t stop thinking about it and you can’t wait to get back to it. Love is this feeling you get cannot be extinguished when you feel excited, happy and at peace all at the same time over something tangible, be it a person or activity or object or animal”- Erica
Here’s what my heart says about the whole thing
Sometimes I find myself fleeting within.
Within to a place that lacks rules and understanding
Where all of the canvasses are blank and your thoughts float off into the darkness
There lies room for my next passion
Room for my next idea
You don’t fall for that bullshit
You don’t just let anyone in
I read something from Alex Elle where she said she had made a promise to stop looking for love anywhere that was outside of herself
I find that to be such a profound statement
I want to be selfish but my heart just seems so open to the possibilities of love
I had a conversation with my friend and we discussed the woes of being single
But he had a good point
He said that we are supposed to enjoy our singleness even if we are seeking to be married
It is in our singleness that we are supposed to grow closer to god and live in his light by learning to serve others
In our learning to serve others we are preparing ourselves for the choice of loving someone and moving away from pronouns like “I: but more to “We” and “Us”
So where do I go from here
It’s like its so much easier said than done
I desire to be married in the a few years like singleness in the way in which it has been presented to me through society seems like some sort of quest for experiences with other people
I guess I’m selfish with myself in that sense
Not everyone or just anyone is welcomed into my spirit
And I for damn sure ain’t letting you into my temple
I told myself that if I didn’t have anything else in this life than at least I have this body in which I promise to cherish and keep sacred
I guess maybe I’m equating singleness with promiscuity and sex but I think a lot of singles are seeking those physical pleasures that I personally reserve for marriage
I hate to generalize but that’s the sense I get
Like “how many bodies you got”
Is that really a question?
It should be how many people do you carry in your spirit?
Or better yet
How many soul ties you got?
Who you done let into your temple?
Love is what you make of it
So make it pure
Make it unwavering
Make it REAL
Ps: I hope you leave behind fear and choose to love again, you know who you a