Bag Lady

Sometimes I find myself fleeting within

Within to a place that lacks rules and understanding

Where all of the canvasses are blank and your thoughts float off into the darkness

There lies room for my new passion

Room for my next idea

I read something from Alex Elle where she said she had  made a promise to stop looking for love anywhere that was outside of herself

I find that to be such a profound statement

I want to be selfish but my heart just seems so open to the possibilities of love

I had a conversation with my friend and we discussed the woes of being single

But he had a good point

He said that we are supposed to enjoy our singleness even if we are seeking to be married

It is in our singleness that we are supposed to grow closer to God and live in his light by learning to serve others

In our learning to serve others we are preparing ourselves for the CHOICE of loving someone while also moving away from pronouns like “I”

But more towards pronouns like “We” and “Us”

So where do I go from here?

It’s like it’s so much easier said than done

I desire to be married in a few years

Like singleness in the way in which it has been presented to me from society seems like some sort of quest for experiences with other people

I guess I’m selfish with myself in that sense

Not everyone or just anyone is welcomed into my spirit

And I for damn sure ain’t letting you into my temple

I told myself that if I didn’t have anything else in this life at least I have this body in which I promise to cherish and keep sacred

I guess maybe I’m equating singleness with promiscuity and sex but I think alot of singles are solely seeking those physical pleasures that I personally want to reserve for marriage

I hate to generalize but that’s the sense I get

Like “What’s your body count”?

Is that really a question?

It should be how many people do you carry in your spirit?

Or better yet

How many soul ties you got?

Who you done let into your temple?

 

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